gila sudah 2 hari gw sakit diare trus hilang selera makan, pdhl baru aja nyampe Singapore tp besoknya malah sakit, pdhl kemarin sakit 2 minggu itu baru bisa sembuh setelah nyampe di Indo, tau2 balik lagi sakit lagi T____T aduhhh
udah ke dokter sih, tp waktu pas ke dokter ga demam, tiap malam demamnya kambuh, hadu udah kyk nenek2 lah gw ini hahaha XD kerjanya tidur mulu gr2 minum obat yg untuk muntah2 itu.
mau makan apa yah? ini kerjanya otak gw klo pas jam waktu makan -___-" tadi aja maksa2in makan sup obat dan nasi putih, bener2 ga ada rasa. ga boleh makan minyak, creamy, dan ga boleh minum susu T___T diarenya lum sembuh2 lagi, ntah gw ada salah makan ato ga X(
Ini buat temen aku deh,
My very best dude
Day by day you take care of me
Even though I know you ain't good of these things
But you always try your best to be true
Your little words always give me courage to try again
Not to mention our simplicity of being friends
We are good enough to lean on each other
How many times do I have to say thank you if there is an unlimited attention from you
Thank you and thank you
that's all I can say when you are beside me
Thank you and thank you
Can you imagine how happy I am when I have someone to trust
Here I come with confidence because of you
I am trying to learn what mistakes that I've done in the past
Until then I know that I've grown together with you
Here I come with thousand loves because of you
We will always be best friends
Thank you for the love that you've shared with me.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Thursday, January 29, 2009
the feeling of love creates a gravity of appreciation
little than i know the feeling of loving and giving
i have never expected to be with you so badly
until then i know that we were born to be together in this reality
seeds, leaves, flowers and birds are bringing out the symphony of love
not to remember how we used to be quarrelling uncertain things
but to remind us how we have liked each other and became stronger
blue sky, the sunshine and the sea giving us the harmony of love
not to forget our mistakes that we have created in our relation
but to remain the seed of caring and forgiving
I was born to say that I love you
even though we are apart by the thousand oceans
neither i could forget one little thing about you
I was born to be together with you
even though crowds try to prevent us from meeting
neither i could make my mind out of you
Don't you leave me without saying anything because it hurts when I see you cry
Don't be scared by all of the objections because you know we are trying our best
I love you and it was hard for me to say it when you wanted to hear it from me
I miss you and it is getting tougher for me to pass the day of 24 hours long
Let me be with you a little longer so that we can carve our love in an unforgetable memory
Let us to be together even though we are in the middle of crawling earth
Close your eyes and stay by my side
Until then I know that you will not leave me
Close your eyes and imagine that we are close enough to be whispering to each other
A simple word of love will ring our hearts
little than i know the feeling of loving and giving
i have never expected to be with you so badly
until then i know that we were born to be together in this reality
seeds, leaves, flowers and birds are bringing out the symphony of love
not to remember how we used to be quarrelling uncertain things
but to remind us how we have liked each other and became stronger
blue sky, the sunshine and the sea giving us the harmony of love
not to forget our mistakes that we have created in our relation
but to remain the seed of caring and forgiving
I was born to say that I love you
even though we are apart by the thousand oceans
neither i could forget one little thing about you
I was born to be together with you
even though crowds try to prevent us from meeting
neither i could make my mind out of you
Don't you leave me without saying anything because it hurts when I see you cry
Don't be scared by all of the objections because you know we are trying our best
I love you and it was hard for me to say it when you wanted to hear it from me
I miss you and it is getting tougher for me to pass the day of 24 hours long
Let me be with you a little longer so that we can carve our love in an unforgetable memory
Let us to be together even though we are in the middle of crawling earth
Close your eyes and stay by my side
Until then I know that you will not leave me
Close your eyes and imagine that we are close enough to be whispering to each other
A simple word of love will ring our hearts
Friday, January 23, 2009
I'm searching for love that doesn't exist,
I'm searching for care that doesn't speak,
Needs fulfilling the curiousity of love,
but they say....... It is useless
Loving doesn't need intention behind the curtains
Gaining pain from loving always worth it
Tears will always fall if you are heart-broken
but they say....... It is nonsense
SOMEONE please give me an answer
SOMEONE please explain how would you love in a way?
I wanted to try but I would always fall apart
I wanted to love again, but I was in a mess of being lied of thousand words
Now I am living with a very little courage and trust
Recover me from these speechless scars
Please give me promising words that I can trust
Then I can come back to live again
"FORGIVE and FORGET" that's how people say,
"FORGIVE and LOVE" that's how they are now,
yet I am still waiting for love,
I am still waiting...... for a lover.....
I am reaching for love that never exist.
I'm searching for care that doesn't speak,
Needs fulfilling the curiousity of love,
but they say....... It is useless
Loving doesn't need intention behind the curtains
Gaining pain from loving always worth it
Tears will always fall if you are heart-broken
but they say....... It is nonsense
SOMEONE please give me an answer
SOMEONE please explain how would you love in a way?
I wanted to try but I would always fall apart
I wanted to love again, but I was in a mess of being lied of thousand words
Now I am living with a very little courage and trust
Recover me from these speechless scars
Please give me promising words that I can trust
Then I can come back to live again
"FORGIVE and FORGET" that's how people say,
"FORGIVE and LOVE" that's how they are now,
yet I am still waiting for love,
I am still waiting...... for a lover.....
I am reaching for love that never exist.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Torned Lullaby
Missing, depression, and emptiness in a silent night,
a little awkward feeling that causes you feel so down and trapped in cofusion,
why does world have to be so crowded when you alone feel empty,
fairytale shares promising romance and love, while people treat it as a silly illution.
Look through 2 miles of the windy black street,
tell me could you find something that hides your intention to walk further?
Why would you want to hear from others while you shut your ears from this dimension?
feel what I thought, then you could understand why I keep on living in this strange world.
Little mirror reflects your pale faces, people..
do you realize that we are sharing the same sky though we have different perceptions?
It makes sense that you worry too much after you had a big quarrel with the love ones,
but don't be fool anymore, we live to experience scars that are shapen into our live circles.
Now, look ahead a 100 miles and you have to know that you are wake up
are you walking half miles already then?
Don't you need to hesitate anymore while whatsoever, you already throw away that shameless thoughts?
Don't you cry anymore, we are living in this world and not to be a fool...
>>Someone will always love you<<
a little awkward feeling that causes you feel so down and trapped in cofusion,
why does world have to be so crowded when you alone feel empty,
fairytale shares promising romance and love, while people treat it as a silly illution.
Look through 2 miles of the windy black street,
tell me could you find something that hides your intention to walk further?
Why would you want to hear from others while you shut your ears from this dimension?
feel what I thought, then you could understand why I keep on living in this strange world.
Little mirror reflects your pale faces, people..
do you realize that we are sharing the same sky though we have different perceptions?
It makes sense that you worry too much after you had a big quarrel with the love ones,
but don't be fool anymore, we live to experience scars that are shapen into our live circles.
Now, look ahead a 100 miles and you have to know that you are wake up
are you walking half miles already then?
Don't you need to hesitate anymore while whatsoever, you already throw away that shameless thoughts?
Don't you cry anymore, we are living in this world and not to be a fool...
>>Someone will always love you<<
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Pernahkah kamu merasa kebingungan, kemarahan, kehilangan kemauan untuk bicara atau tersenyum dan semuanya itu tercampur dalam suatu hari yang membuat kamu lain seperti biasanya. Teman2 kamu pasti akan mampir ke jendela hati kamu dan bertanya, "Apa yang terjadi denganmu? Kamu ada masalah?" Apa yang akan kamu respon terhadap pertanyaan mereka?
Bagi aku, dunia ini selalu seperti penuh dengan orang2 yang memakai "mask" YAH....... terkadang kala sangat mudah bagi kita untuk membaca mimik2 wajah orang2 di sekitar kita, seperti aku, menebak sifat orang2 itu kadang2 sangat mudah bahkan walau behaviour mereka itu tak sama dengan sifat asli mereka. Cuma, gak selamanya membaca sifat orang itu bagus... yang rugi itu terkadang aku sendiri, karena aku malah lebih menjauhkan diri dari orang2 tersebut. Terlalu terbuka di depan orang2 juga bukan seperti aku, walau aku lagi berusaha.. Semuanya telah mengepak sayap2 mereka untuk maju, tapi kenapa hanya aku yang berusaha menyembunyikan sayap2 itu?
"a little courage" itu kata2 yang selalu aku tepar kalau aku mulai depresi, sedih, dan merasa gak ada yang mengerti aku.. tapi itu selalu membantu aku untuk mulai berpikir 2 kali. Tidak sering aku gagal menjadi yang terbaik, tapi tidak sering juga aku gagal menjadi yang terburuk. Hanya karena aku mau mulai mengerti kesalahan aku sendiri, disaat itu aku mulai sadar kalau dunia ini seperti "GAME" kalau kamu kalah, kamu mulai penasaran dan memperbaiki kesalahan2 sebelumnya, seperti "SAVE POINT" hehe, bedanya, di dunia asli, kita tidak diperboleh mengulangi yang terjadi, tapi kita punya kesempatan mencoba lagi di chance2 lain. IYA?
WELL.... disaat2 begini, aku masih mencari dan terus mencari apa artinya kita hidup di dunia kalau aku belum mengerti apa yang harus kuwujud-in sesuatu yang berguna bagi aku sendiri...
Bagi aku, dunia ini selalu seperti penuh dengan orang2 yang memakai "mask" YAH....... terkadang kala sangat mudah bagi kita untuk membaca mimik2 wajah orang2 di sekitar kita, seperti aku, menebak sifat orang2 itu kadang2 sangat mudah bahkan walau behaviour mereka itu tak sama dengan sifat asli mereka. Cuma, gak selamanya membaca sifat orang itu bagus... yang rugi itu terkadang aku sendiri, karena aku malah lebih menjauhkan diri dari orang2 tersebut. Terlalu terbuka di depan orang2 juga bukan seperti aku, walau aku lagi berusaha.. Semuanya telah mengepak sayap2 mereka untuk maju, tapi kenapa hanya aku yang berusaha menyembunyikan sayap2 itu?
"a little courage" itu kata2 yang selalu aku tepar kalau aku mulai depresi, sedih, dan merasa gak ada yang mengerti aku.. tapi itu selalu membantu aku untuk mulai berpikir 2 kali. Tidak sering aku gagal menjadi yang terbaik, tapi tidak sering juga aku gagal menjadi yang terburuk. Hanya karena aku mau mulai mengerti kesalahan aku sendiri, disaat itu aku mulai sadar kalau dunia ini seperti "GAME" kalau kamu kalah, kamu mulai penasaran dan memperbaiki kesalahan2 sebelumnya, seperti "SAVE POINT" hehe, bedanya, di dunia asli, kita tidak diperboleh mengulangi yang terjadi, tapi kita punya kesempatan mencoba lagi di chance2 lain. IYA?
WELL.... disaat2 begini, aku masih mencari dan terus mencari apa artinya kita hidup di dunia kalau aku belum mengerti apa yang harus kuwujud-in sesuatu yang berguna bagi aku sendiri...
A New Beginning and Again..
This year might be a tough year for me to go on to the next plan that I should have been thinking for some time. There are so many things that I've got to learn this year. Oh yes, for some short introduction, I'm Nel, often called as Rii, LOL. I'm taking piano classical and in my 3rd year now.
I've been thinking to furthering my musical studies at somewhere around Europe, well, it is easy to say so but somehow this thought really bothers me especially when i have to think about my lackness of performances experiences that often drove me to nervousness and I was always gone crazy after performances. It felt like tons of people looking to you as enemies and I was often thinking that they were going to laugh at my stupidity of mistakes that I've often made to my performances. Well... as time goes by, I could feel that there are some changings that have been brought to my life and my thoughts.
Last Monday, John Sharpley, my performance workshop lecturer, has thaught a lot of wonderful things I guess.. He gave us such a unique experience that we've never felt before...
He says, "Performance is like giving a gift, present, and love to your audiences, when you try to explore, you will know that you have never had such a huge desire to perform."
I guess what he told us were true... and that time when I got the chance to perform only short phrases of my recital piece, I felt that he was supporting my lackness and he showed me a lot of things and awareness that I've never realized before..
Thanks to him that every lesson I went to, I've always learned new things from him...
Though, something that still bothers me is ahead this week...
One more thing, thanks to one person that has inspired me to begin to draw out my thoughts in this blog ^^
Last Monday, John Sharpley, my performance workshop lecturer, has thaught a lot of wonderful things I guess.. He gave us such a unique experience that we've never felt before...
He says, "Performance is like giving a gift, present, and love to your audiences, when you try to explore, you will know that you have never had such a huge desire to perform."
I guess what he told us were true... and that time when I got the chance to perform only short phrases of my recital piece, I felt that he was supporting my lackness and he showed me a lot of things and awareness that I've never realized before..
Thanks to him that every lesson I went to, I've always learned new things from him...
Though, something that still bothers me is ahead this week...
One more thing, thanks to one person that has inspired me to begin to draw out my thoughts in this blog ^^
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tarot of my personality
Your result for Which Tarot Card Represents Your Higher Self? Test...
The High Priestess
3 0Fool, -1 1Magician, 6 2Priestess, 2 3Empress, -1 4Emperor, -1 5Hierophant, 4 6Lovers, 3 7Chariot, -1 8Strength, 2 9Hermit, 2 10WheelOfFortune, 4 11Justice, 1 12HangedMan, 3 13Death, 2 14Temperance, 5 15Devil, 2 16Tower, 3 17Star, 2 18Moon, 0 19Sun, -1 20Judgement and -1 21World!
The High Priestess is arguably the most difficult of the Major Arcana to qualify with words alone, because so much of her power and ability is veiled in mystery that it is difficult for anyone to fathom it all. Every card in the Tarot speaks differently to everyone, but the Priestess seems to bear the widest range of interpretations, because she speaks directly to the Inner Voice, the unconscious mind. She is the manifestation of the unconscious and the effects of the mysterious in our everyday world. Trying to see how such mysteries work often defeats their purpose, and with this in mind, the High Priestess will be explained in as much detail as possible.
She is, above all else, the base of potential that is the source of the power wielded by the Magician. She is the unlimited potential that allows him to transform and create whatever his Will desires. Understanding this type of balance, as found between potential and creation, masculine and feminine, is the key to unlocking some of the mysteries of the High Priestess. We see the clear progression of the theme of balance; instead of integrating opposites, the Priestess keeps them separate and keeps them in balance nonetheles. She herself is the scales; this symbolism is found in many Tarot decks. Without this balance there can be no power.
The second symbolic motif found in almost all instances of the High Preistess are symbols of the unconscious mind. On the Rider-Waite version this motif is especially prominent, but most decks feature at least some lunar imagery that in turn has ties to the unconscious. Most decks that have the "twin pillars" symbology also depict a veil strung between those pillars; the High Priestess stands between us and that veil as a moderator. Behind the veil lies the powers of the unconscious, which we cannot start to understand but which, through her, we can learn to control. She is the gateway to realms that we may never fully comprehend or master.
While it would be impossible for anyone to learn all of her mysteries and secrets, the High Priestess remains as a guide to those of us willing to venture deep within our minds to discover the true powers hidden deep inside each of us. This is the same power as that depicted on the Magician, but the scope of the Priestess' power is far different. While the Magician focuses his powers outward, to achieve a meaningful effect on the world, the High Priestess shows us that we can also use these powers on an inner level, to enrich and transform ourselves. Such transformations are certainly not as dramatic as the Magician's, but they are almost always more powerful.
The High Priestess represents the mysteries of the unconscious and the Inner Voice, and her appearance is often a sign that your own intuition is trying to send you a message. The unconscious often speaks to us in symbols, so be alert around you for anything that seems out of the ordinary. This said, if you have an important decision to make when the Priestess appears, this is often a sign that the answers will be revealed to you, if you are patient and open to the whispers from within. You simply have to wait and be receptive to inner messages. Her lesson is that everything you need to know already exists within you.
The theme of dualism in the High Preistess cannot be avoided either. She is often a sign of the Shadow, the negative portion of your personality that no one sees, and that you yourself could be unaware of. (In this sense, the term 'negative' does not refer to evil, just the opposite polarity from the positive and expressive part of your personality.) If you accept the Shadow within you, its powers will be open to you if you wish to use them. In most people the Shadow side is the more passive of the two, and the Priestess can therefore advocate a need for passivity in a situation. It is not always necessary to act; sometimes goals can be realized through inaction.
Take Which Tarot Card Represents Your Higher Self? Test at HelloQuizzy
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