only hope + windy hearts

There's a song that's inside of my soul

It's the one that I've tried to write over and over again.

I'm awaken in the infinite cold

But you sing to me over and over and over again

So I lay my head back down

And I lift my hands and pray

To be only yours I pray

To be only yours

I know now You're my only hope

Sing to me the song of the stars

Of your galaxy dancing and laughing and laughing again

When it feels like my dreams are so far

Sing to me all the plans that you have for me over again.

So I lay my head back down

And I lift my hands and pray

To be only yoursI pray

To be only yours I know now

You're my only hope

I give you my destiny

I'm giving you all of me

I want your symphony

Singing in all that I am

At the top of my lungs I'm giving it back

So I lay my head back down

And I lift my hands and pray To be only yoursI pray

To be only yours I pray To be only yours

I know now You're my only hope

comes from my favourite song, only hope by mandy moore and also by switchfoot...

what could you say if you are already losing any words to describe your feelings, pray for love, is that worth more than than anything else? what else could you say how inspiring our feelings could be..

a melancholy moment always treasured in minds...

I might not be feeling well today but after this lyric came back to my mind, I felt kind of relieved and much more better.... still I'm not in the mood to write out my feelings and then I came out with this words...

WINDY HEARTS

it's not about hurting

not about crying

now to think again, have you ever realized that you were wrong?

now to think again, you are having thousand sorrows to carry

but what have you got?

people tend to support you, yet at the same time, they make you fall

happy doesn't mean anything, sad doesn't mean end of the world

knowing something that you can't even accept, does that feel a little odd?

tell me once again what are those feelings?

oh no... maybe not... some lost their feelings and don't even know what is wrong

if only you could be better than someone else, maybe you don't have to feel like this

if only you could be a natural lover, you don't even have to hurt people around you

heart knows what you think and only you yourselves could make it better

one step ahead to go

look ahead and feel your heartbeat

one last cry to fall

and you will know you would change...

ACTUALLY, this lyric is dedicated to someone... someone that I can't even say a friend because I don't really know anymore how that someone has backstabbed me and has hated me for no reason before for so many times... I don't really adore but also I don't really hate that someone... it's just this words that I could dedicate to someone....

I pray for that someone to change...

Natasya and her brother...

not really a good things to add.... but... rest in peace natasya and for her brother... i will miss you two....

creative project 2

gilaaaaa hari ini hari yg tak terduga2, tadi main study piano lesson aku okeh2 sih, tp tetep ada dimarahin guru karena kebiasaan buruk saat main aku itu ga bisa dikoreksi XP aduhduh.. trus semalam aku udha coba buat lagu sekitar 4 baris dr lirik ko hendi, kesannya jadi aga melancholy, tadi jg udah diliatin kasi guru, trus guru blg aku hrs dokumentasi progress pembicaraan2, diskusi2 dan pendapat2 aku dgn ko hendi trus tar bisa dijadiin live documentary waktu aku tar presentasi gitu. wah wah wah *panik >_< tp gurunya ga bilang lagunya jelek, cuma kyknya dia tertarik dgn liriknya =D *selamat to ko hendi xD td jg kuceritain, klo poem ini di dedikasi buat precious personnya ko hendi, jadi dia jadi tertarik XD XD XD wah wah romantis yah si ko hendi ini =D

hmmm... besok aku akan lanjut buat 4 bait lagi... td temen blg laguku terkesan kyk lagu2 pop jepang ato kyk anime jepang >_< aduh kyknya aku jadi malu banget *kebiasaan dgr lagu jepang T_T maafin aku ko hendi, tar akan kukasi dgr introductionnya sama masuk sampe 4 baris itu, klo ga cocok bisa diubah koq =D tomorrow i'll try to work on it more after finish my teaching =)


my next creative project is about nature =.=" omg..... ini aja lum siap... aku harus cepet2! go go rii =D

"13th February" Grateful

what have i done to my days????????
i didn't practice enough, i didn't do enough, i didn't study enough, are these the words that often create the uneasy feeling for student?
i guess for me, it applies in certain way......
these few days, there were many certain people have drain out my passion and caused me moody maybe because of typical kind of questions?
at least, i wasn't moody to my closest ones, can you ever imagine you were in the middle of situation while things tend to push you to the rear of your standing position? why would that person be me then?

Well.. for now.. i don't wish to think unnecessary things, by the way... i am going to stop teaching music, as i'm preparing myself for the final exams, practices, projects submission and dissertation....

I am realizing that I've changed little by little because of what I've experienced in love? how about yourselves?
I have a person who always cared for me and stood up for me whenever I am down, the one who only can understand me and never make any complains to me, the reason why i mentioned that person now is because he is the only one i could think of while i'm having problems, and in fact, i'm talking to him right now, i'm feeling grateful because he could maintain his attention for me even though i often not being myself...

13 and 14, tomorrow is Valentine's day, who are you going to spend your day with? I'm going to watch concert with my friends tomorrow =) have a great one for all of you in Valentine's day, it doesn't mean that you've got to spend with the love ones, isn't it? =D it could be with friends ;)

COLOURS

lyric by: Hendy >>Marionette<<
translated by: Nelly

COLOURS

Sparkle amongst the shimmering droplets of rain,
Look how wonderful the colours of fairy
Among the seven colours of rainbow,
how many colours do you need to paint myself?

For you, blue draws out what’s inside the heart,
and the cloudy with the red twilight represents your smile

they said that pink is for those who are in love,
but for me, black is like blooming flowers

peaceful green , cheerful white, the innocent white,
but they have becoming darker for me now

if the sky could be the canvas, sea could be the painter
seven oceans couldn’t be painted on even though it becomes dry after then
what do they get for what I’ve painted on the canvas troughout the sky

I only know that you are the one who could understand me
blue is like the sea or the sky that are never going to be together

the bloody red and the black again represents the night

if you could use every colours to paint me
please make me a new colour, that's my request
All colours in this world couldn’t paint out our story
Only you could understand

if you could use every colours to paint me
please make me a new colour, that's my request

i hate to be true

well... today isn't my good day as well, especially yesterday lol =P
hmmm... i'm still unsure with my broken soul, why? maybe i am not trying my best yet i am still dreaming while others are stepping ahead from me... by the way, at least today i've tried to be true *maybe 50% out of my whole mind, to tell the truth, i really hate to expose myself in public, but these few days, some situation pushed me to be...

maybe i wasn't honest enough in the past, but now i'm trying to be really honest! ok! at least nobody would be thinking as bad as what they thought about me last time, i am imperfect, yet i'm polishing myself with courage, courage and courage!

ok, i'm not mad *it seems to be... lol =P how wonderful, 3 years best friend could be broken because of unbelievable things and thoughts... wonderful.... i just need to pray for that relationship... i've never wanted to be too engaged with some people because i couldn't believe them even until now..... if they are not believing in me, who am i supposed to believe then?


tonight i will start to do my creative project, GOD, please bless me

My Heart is Yellow

love? colours? how do you link them?

for me, certain colours have certain meanings..
reflection from our hearts often draws out colours without our acknowledgement
people from outside might understand what are the colours you're holding onto
but life tends to be unique and funny while you yourselves don't understand what colours you do want...

how about love then?
red represents love? maybe not... think twice, is your love white? pink? or maybe blue?
my love is sometimes invisible, i don't really think what colour that i'm thinking but i like yellow... to tell the truth, my favourite color is blue sea, but for the feeling i'm having right now might be nearer to yellow, it doesn't have to be stood out, it doesn't represent deep meaning, but it's simple and clear, it is light and bright, i don't want to hold any red or pink colours while i know that yellow is different from them....

how about you?

simple thank you

a comfortable jazzy tunes always fills up my mind with inspiration and delivers passion to my life

like now, i'm listening to winterplay's song "who are you", a simple lyric but filled with very innocence tunes.

I've just finished eating grapes, well it's almost 6 pm now, i'm not going to tell these grapes were for my dinner or something lol XD i might be scolded by my friends if i don't eat more for my dinner XD I felt a little bit of sad just now when my sister was going to airport and will be back to my hometown after taking care of me for one week, I bet if I went to airport with her and her friend, i'll be crying down my tears in front of them -____-" even so, she didn't let me to go with her because she was worried that there would be nobody to send me back home lol..

today again, i've learnt a lot of things that I never realized before, starting from my workshop class, although i was concentrating on learning my theory book *it's a sin of course, learning another things when there were something else happening in the class =P

but believe me, i tried to concentrate as well in the class and i am going to type the journal needed in this class.. *sigh what a tiring day... i've never wanted to be alone, but now i'm alone again, my sister will be going back to indo soon, i felt a little bit guilty for her because i didn't come along to send her to airport today after what she has done for me, taking care of me because i was sick, now i could tell that i love her so much even though we always had lots of quarrels before.... that's why i was almost going to shed my tears just now but i wasn't X( X( X(

what am i going to eat for dinner? should i? maybe i should go to near by shop to get some stuffs as well.... again.... by myself, but i'm fine because i still have friends who are care for me...

thank you for today =) i'm enjoying life

creative project

I really need someone to collaborate with... any poet, designers and anyone???
*sigh!
terms and conditions apply! LOL

it's getting better and thank you

tadi pagi udah coba ngeset alarm jem 8 pagi krn mau coba apa udah sembuh ato lum jadi bisa kul, emank kebangunnya jem 4 pagi gara2 diare, tp yah akhirnya mpe jam 6 br bisa tidur lagi, jadinya jem 9 ga ke kul soalnya perut masi sakit.

temen rumah ngupasin apel buat aku makan trus dr semalam disuruh minum oralit soalnya diare ga sembuh2 plus muntah, akhirnya hr ini sembuhnya XD xD *kemenangan tak terduga X( walaupun hari ini pelajaran2 penting udah kena skip huu..

thanks to cindy udah ngupasin apel dr semalam udah ngejagain aku.
malem ini cc aku bakalan datang ke singapore buat ngejagain aku, semalam aku jadi cengeng gara2 ini itu semua campur aduk, kirain keluarga aku udah lupa klo aku masi sakit, akhirnya smlm di sms cc blg dia bkalan datang XD, giliran dia datang akunya udah mau sembuh, gila aku jadi ngerepotin org sejagad belakangan ini haha tp aku senang sih, karena org2 sekeliling aku masi khawatir.

hanya bisa blg thanks to everybody deh karena perhatiannya, dan aku belajar, apa salahnya mencoba berdiri sendiri selama kita masih bisa, segala usaha itu pasti akan dihargai orang2 yang merhatiin kita.